Metal Schmetal Extreme Brutalityment

Billy Mays loves metal!

2009-11-17T00:59:00.000+01:00

Metal Fag

2009-11-16T21:41:00.002+01:00

A short review of the Imperial Never Say Die Tour in Eindhoven

2009-11-10T23:58:00.000+01:00

The Ghost Inside:
The beers tasted good at the parking lot.

iwrestledabearonce:
Surprisingly I liked it, maybe because of the lead singer that had the swine flu so she couldn't sing. Nice technical parts & hillbilly parts.

Oceano:
Blackchapel, slowmocore, bassdrop fest, replaymetal, whatever you want to call it. Fun to laugh at.

As Blood Runs Black:
The beers tasted good at the parking lot.

Horse The Band:
Nintendo-core, fun to watch but nothing really special. And they were drunk/stoned, that was a plus.

Architects:
I liked it, lots of energy on stage, they played some cool songs, but they didn't make me want to kick somebody in the teeth.

Despised Icon:
Awesome, they played all the "hits" and they played them tight like a 12-year old. And they made me want to kick people in the teeth.

Beer:
Beer never disappoints me, and neither did Beer that night.

Marcotje's photo's

Metal Randomness

2009-11-07T17:59:00.000+01:00

Metalbands don't take themselves serious

2009-11-04T02:06:00.000+01:00

And I fully support that. Fuck angry stares and macho behaviour, metal = fun and happy times!

Here are some funny video's, not funny as in "fail", but intentionally funny:

The kings of mindnumbing riffs, The Acacia Strain, wiggerslamming before it even existed!
And that Lassie shirt the drummer is wearing is fucking awesome!

The bassplayer of The Red Chord goes "undercover" and pretends he's at his first metal show.
"Suckpunch-the-dead-core, that's grindcore mixed with suckerpunching the dead"

"I've got better things to do, I've got kids to beat" "-Do you really have kids?" "-Not that I know about.."

Another Metal Injection classic: Psyopus interviewed in their hotelroom
"To be honest with you I did't want to make a CD, I wanted it to be improv reggae jamsession,
and when you ordered the vinyl online all you would get is a dog in the mail... like any kind of dog"

Glossomecty

2009-11-03T12:50:00.000+01:00

Here I present the kings of Jiggerslam (japanese wigger slam)

GLOSSECTOMY

With their awesome stage performance (including wiggerish arm movements, or should I say jiggerish?) the crowd goes wild!

PNIG PONG PANG TJAP TJOI JAP DOG

Metal SUCKS!

2009-11-03T00:12:00.007+01:00

No, metal does not suck, but it has it's pro's and cons. Some of this I have experienced myself, some of this I can imagine it could happen, and some of this are just observations or wild guesses...

1. Girls Hate Metal

Yeah they do. One time I just had a girlfriend for a week or 2, and she asked me what music I liked most. I said "metal!". And she was like "okay, i'm cool with that, can you play me something you're listening to lately?" so I said yes, and I played this song:

I turned the song off after about 30 seconds,
and there was an awkward silence.
Later she told me she was scared...

Well, and the girls who actually like metal are fat, ugly,
or fat and ugly. And they act like little kids. FUCK!

2. Metalheads Look Like Dorks

See for yourself:

What's up with that posters in the back?

Don't really know what to think of this...

Metal Mongol

Fagfest extraordinaire

And this is how they should look:
Forget the grungejunkie blouse, and everything will be fine

In my dreams all girls at metal concerts look like her

Pretty pretty, too bad she can't sing. And her band sucks... aside from that everything's okay

That's A REAL METAL CHICK!

3. 97,7% of the metalbands SUCK!

First of all, whats up with the thousands of shitty amateur metalbands? It seems like when people come together to make music, and they suck, they decide to play metal "because it's only fast monotone riffing and screaming uncontrollable about satan and death". FUCK!

Ahum...

The other half can actually play, but make SHIT METAL. Some faggoty elve goblin anal fagfest with fairy dresses and make up + a breakdown every 30 seconds.

THAT'S NOT METAL!!!

WRONG:

wtf is this? Blink 182 with breakdowns?

The uploader told me in the description of this movie this was:
"A metal band with a gay twist". He is wasn't lying.

This is some band called Metallica, I've never heard of them, but they suck really bad.
I can't imagine they'll ever become big rockstars and make shitloads of money with their shitty music.

CRABCORE!

RIGHT:

If you call yourself a metalhead, and you don't like Dying Fetus, you're gay.

Boring Clockwork Orange (random thought: Cockwork White would be a good name for a porn flick)
inspired video by the way.

Of course, SLAYER! (and johnny depp)

Interpretation of Slayer - Angel of Death

Cheeky Dave | MySpace Video

TBDM: funny guy's! In this video they just drink and do random stupid shit. (Well well, what a surprise).The rules for the drinking game they're doing were: take a shot every time the guys take one, or when they look like drunken idiots... Yeah that'll help!?!

Fuck I'm searching the interwebs and typing for 3 hours, I'm tired and out of inspiration.

See ya

The Red Chord made do it

2009-10-27T21:08:00.004+01:00

Fucking hell, it took me a minute to find the sweet spot (that's not the first time that happens to me)

Today I got my copy of The Red Chord's new release; Fed Trough The Teeth Machine!
My first tought was: why isn't it named "Fed Trough The Meth Machine"? It sounds really catchy, but I think that's just a matter of taste.

the new X-treme (Brutalityment?)

What also is really catchy, are the riffs on this album. This was the first thing that came to my mind after the first spin. Gunface really outdid himself and wrote some brutal yet atmospherical and original guitar parts. The solo's compliment the music, instead of sounding like a wankfest extraordinaire. They almost got a hardrock feel to it sometimes.

35 and a half minute later it was time for the second round.

The lyrics are really awesome, as always. No lyrics about hacking people up for barbeque or running in the woods with a battle axe and vicking helmet. These are poems:

taken from "floating through the vein":
Come on in where nightmares are the best part of my day
There is no rest for tired eyes, it's time to go to sleep
Sometimes toughts return, but memories slip away
Floating through the vein. Floating through the vein.

Guy's lyrics are graphical and cryptic, sometimes really to the point but never straightforward.
He's telling a story without exactly saying what is going on, or what it's about. I LIKE

(spin number 3...GO)

The drums are (as usual) technical, fast and sound like typical The Red Chord. He is blastbeating, breaking, hardcoreing (?!?) and grooving like a madman. Too bad the drums are triggered, i'm sure he would be fine without triggers. It's a bit too clinical and tight, and what I liked about TRC were the super-fast not completely-tight almost-evenly hard hitted drumparts. Well at least it doesn't sounds like R2-D2 is drumming.

"The stud of a man that is me" Greg "G-Dub" Weeks shaved his epic beard, but that does not mean he isn't as funky as he was before. He plays the bass like a 70-year old motown records veteran, and that is a compliment. He gives straight up metal riffs a twist and that's rare in the metal scene. FUNKYZEIT!

After all Fed Trough The Teeth Machine is a brutal and intelligent metal album, sounding like the new The Red Chord CD should sound; the new X-TREME! Now it's time to listen to the album many more times and consume it's contents to the fullest!

And if i'm eating babies, raping pigeons and doing drive-by's in your neighbourhood:
THE RED CHORD MADE ME DO IT

Metal Investigation

2009-10-23T19:36:00.003+02:00

I was wondering if there were any researches done about the relation of metal opposed to people, culture, animals and plants. So I did some google-research myself. This is the outcome:

Intelligent teenagers often listen to heavy metal music to cope with the pressures associated with being talented, according to research.
-Stuart Cadwallader, psychologist at the University of Warwic

Of course metalheads are intelligent; we drink gallions of beer, fuck our ears up, kick eachother in the face in the moshpit, scream "Slayerrrrrrr!" all night long and just act like cavemen in general. That's because we use the rest of our brains to do complex math calculations and coming up with an solution for world peace and global warming.

Roughly 50 percent of heavy metal songs are about murder, while another 35 percent dabble in Satanic content.
-Fyodor Kondratyev, aprofessor at the Serbsky State Research Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry

He listened to 700 heavy metal songs before coming to his conclusion that the slogan “Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll” should be changed to “Murder, Satan & Heavy Metal.” But can this guy detect irony? Did he listen to Slayer, or The Darkness? I mean, songs like Fucked With A Knife... I think Cannibal Corpse never fucked anyone with a knife... at least I hope so.

A student named David Merrill subjected mice to the music of a heavy metal band called Anthrax 24-hours a day to discover how it would affect their ability to learn new things, but instead of completing Merrill’s maze, the heavy metal mice all killed one another.

Well, I do not think metal is made for animals. For them it is just noise, more than to people who don't listen to it. Or they listened to the lyrics, that probably were about murder. If I reincarnate as a mouse when I die, I'll be the first metal-mouse!

Dorothy Retallack tested the effects of various types of music on plants. She found that playing classic rock artists such as Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix and Vanilla Fudge caused the plants to grow in an unhealthy way, bend away from the speakers and die young. However, if we assume that plants can have musical preferences, it's possible that classic rock was not their music of choice
.
Mmm... the same thing as the mice, I don't think plants like noise. But I can remember a episode of mythbusters were they "let a plant listen" to Chimaira, and the plant grow faster then the rest.

Fast-forward to 2:34
&start=154&rel=0">&start=154&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344">

I think we can say that metal is good for humans, sometimes good for plants, and not good for animals.

will be continued...

NOW THAT'S EXTREME!!!

Woepie Killer Metal Cat

2009-10-23T14:54:00.004+02:00

WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?

2009-10-23T13:42:00.006+02:00

So young, and yet so raped

Fag and the Faggenator

Kinda cute WHORE!

I feel like putting his teeth on the curb, and give him an eternal smile

Cyclops emo girl faggot

Too bad National Emo Kid Beatdown Day is over

That's the right place to keep them

the adventures of god

2009-10-23T13:32:00.003+02:00

2009-10-22T15:23:00.003+02:00

This is fucking funny!

2009-10-22T11:56:00.002+02:00

Animosity broke up

2009-10-22T11:45:00.005+02:00

They state in the following press release posted on Lambgoat:

"You have never seen us rest this long. For those of you wondering about Animosity, you are correct to have assumed that we disbanded. It has been nearly a year since all five of us were in a room (or the same state) together. In this time, we have written zero songs and played zero shows. In short, nothing happened which I mean to say plainly and clearly. We are all still alive and friends, but following our last tour we just did nothing band related. Many of us grew up in this band, and for me personally, Animosity was somehow prioritized over everything including my very own life. This band formed our communities, relationships, experiences and the lens through which we view the world. Eight years later, I look back to being 14 years old playing Animosity shows in garages and backyards and I can honestly say that our musical and experiential goals have been exceeded in ways that once seemed impossible to me. If you haven't gotten enough of Animosity, please rest assured that we have.

"This is not to say, that everyone is gone from music. In the time since our last show, Navene finished his spectacular debut solo album called Fleshrot – dementia/dyslexia. Navene wrote played and recorded all the music himself and features beastly vocals from Jonny Davy. Check out the project here and stay posted for album release info. Also, Navene has teamed up with Tosin Abasi and is drumming in their new band Animals As Leaders. Chase also has a new band called Son of Arelius from which you can expect a full-length album out soon. New music from Evan and Frank can be anticipated in various different forms. As for me, I moved out east to study the environment.

"To Animosity fans worldwide, thank you for doing this with us, it was an awesomely epic journey. Be well!"

Well that sucks. I've only seen them once, but the sound wasn't great and they had technical difficulties before and while playing. So I wanted to see them again, so I could see them play a full set with good sound. Well maybe they'll do a reunion tour in 2021?

Cool video, cool song

NOW THAT'S EXTREME!

Riggers

2009-10-22T00:38:00.022+02:00

When you think of riggers, you think of people who hang speakers in a trusses, or bondage freaks that hang people in ropes for sexual pleasure.

In general riggers are equivalent to wiggers, but they do it their own way. The russian way.

I would kill to hang out with mozart

Posing at your radioactive house in Tsjernobyl is sooooo gangster!

But don't touch the greenery!

Riggers With an Additude, you better recognize

But what drives them?

Do they think they aren't good enough?

Is the american culture supreme?

Hell no! They were born like this!

No he's not a wigger, he's a rigger! You dumb fuck!

This is about Zelenoff, the god among the riggers. He has beef with this "fafafooey187" because he said Zelenoff was a wigger. He's totally wrong! Also fafafooey187 happens to be a huge Judas Priest fan.... he likes gay men in leather suits. Mmmm... that makes me think. And reading his comments on Judas Priest youtube video's doesn't convince me he's some tough guy:

"This song is certainly making something grow below for me. Not to sound too blunt, but if you're wondering I'm talking about my currently rock hard penis. Rob's powerful, yet sensual vocals have that effect on me. In fact, I came at 2:04 and I'm still hard at 6:00."

And the last (banned) video he favorited named: "Welcome Home, Brother Charles - Guy Gets Strangled By Penis" isn't helping at all. Well, let's dig in deeper (haha?).

Apparently Zelenoff challenged fafafooey187 for a fight, but he didn't show up, but he can't help being all riggerish and stuff, and he can't stop talking about that fine lady:

But I bet his AK-47 kalashnikovs, tsjernobyl, vodka, st. peterburg & stalin's ass, he would have destroyed fafafooey's face.

And by the way, this is his fiance who dumped him.

Does russia have lots of oil in the ground? because it seems that this girl owns 67% of the russian plastic industry.

NOW THAT'S EXTREME!

Red Chord Side Projects

2009-10-22T00:02:00.009+02:00

The Red Chord don't take themselves too seriously. In interviews they talk about having a toilet that flushes with gold water, having a castle in the sky and doing the "birdman". And on stage it's the same, I quote from their gig at Dour:"Put your hands up in the air for no apparent reason!". The singer claims it has to do with the number of people you have to deal with as a frontman, and maybe he is right. You can't banter about stuff you have to think about when you have 5.000 (mostly drunk) people in front of you, and want to grab the attention. But nonetheless they play their music fucking tight and the few times I had the pleasure to see them live, they were the best band of the day. It takes alot to be that tight/amusing/brutal at once.

And while making awesome music in the Red Chord, they also have a dozen of side projects, some of them serious, some of them... well not so serious. These are the names of (almost all) the side projects, and i'm not joking around:

Mt. Fuckasaurus, Plant Vochestra, Tit Beard, Dirt Mistaken For Weed, Mun (with an umlaut on the "n"), Ladder Up An Ass, Stomach Earth, Snake Cakes, Font Dust, Piece of Shit Family, Cucumber Boys, Biodessert, Science Rooster, Secret Cupcake, G and C Music Factory, G-red and the Womb Brooms:

G-Red and the Womb Brooms music video

Plant Vochestra performing live

The Red Chord video

Ladder Up An Ass live

Dirt Mistaken For Weed?

The funny thing is, most of the side projects are really awesome, or funny to listen to.

If I could make up a name it would be something like this:

M.J. Surgery Runoff
Helmet for Unprotection
Animal Arousement
Spiraling Squares
Flan Caveman
Fontanel Sentinel

Well, those are really crappy.

And don't forget, Guy Kozowyk (the vocalist) also invented the Panteradactyl, the signature hand gesture of Schoolfest.

Vocalist Guy Kozowyk "MarisTheGreat photoshoot"

I preordered the new Red Chord CD "Fed Through The Teeth Machine" and friday it's gonna be delivered so i'm fucking stoked. I heard two songs and they were great, and i'm sure this album is gonna be awesome!

NOW THAT'S EXTREME!